Hi there guys? Yeah so this is my first post, and unfortunately my first post isn't going to be happy.
In the past two weeks, many things hapened that i don't know what to do. And so this is when i decided post everythin in a blog.
Okay, here goes.
About two weeks ago, I became so quiet during class hours and especially when I'm with my friends. My friends and i have this hobby in staying in the school's library whenever we have time, or during our vacant hours our group has six members and we named it unknown, for we still don't know what to name our group. I felt this wierdness in me whenever I'm with them, i just don't feel like they consider me there with them. And so there, i stayed quiet saying nothing at all. And then one of my friend asked me what's wrong, what else can i say? I just responded her with a lie, I told her that I'm having my period in that moment that's why I'm not in the mood. In that day forward,I told myself HOW SILLY I AM FEELING OUT OF PLACE WITH MY FRIEND. I started again interacting with them again, but that was a mstake.
One of my friends shouted at me twice, I'm just asking her a question, but then she loss her temper then "boom" there goes the bomb. I started feeling really sad that she's getting angry with me, in my surprise she called me over the telephone and asked me if I'm angry with her, I told her "no", i thought that , that telephone call will be the solution, but it made it even worse. The after she called me over the phone, all of them didn't talk to me that morning, and so i decided why not try to end this foolishness with? After the morning break, i started thinking...what would they react if i started getting far away with them? Are they going to talk to me about it? Are they going to try and win me back, or ask me wether I'm feeling sad or what? And so i started with not sitting with them in every class we supposed to be sitting together, then I waited.
I waited for them to come to me, ask me. But nothing happened, after a couple of days, i decided to end my stupidity and so i sat with them during our English subject,but then they all didn't talk to me! I know its my fault, getting away from them! I'm so stupid! I hate it! Then something happened. One of the so called"unknown" started saying things about me indirectly, and the worse part of all she didn't talk about me behind my back but instead she said things about me aloud and whenever I'm around. What could hurt more than that? Don't they realized how it hurts? Why? What did i did to those thing to me? Did i really did a very wrong and a sin that can't be forgiven?
I remeber that saturday, that saturday when i cried my way home, were sopposed to practice for our christmas carolling project in music, but it turns out to be a very bad day for me, at first one of them hugged me tightly and i thought that its going to be a good day, then the one who shouted at me twice was just there, she's there talking to another friend. Then we went to her house, we walked all te way to their house and no one talked to me, my eyes started to fill with tears, my friend the one who's really close to me always stop for me to keep upw with them, and so i tried to hide my tears. I wanted so much to talk to her but she was too busy talking to another friend. We arrived in her house and they all started to chat with each other, i again felt out of place and so i ended up talking with the dog who's named was "naruto". I decided to text my mom and dad to come and pick me up, because i really felt that the tears are going to fall soon. And so after a few munites i saw our car, i went inside the car and my tears fell down, my parents asked me whats wrong, my mom told me that she's going to talk to them but i didn't let her. My mom told me to keep away from them coz they are not true friends. But ofcourse i disagree in my thoughts, beacuse for me i still consider the times we were together. But i followed her advice, i tried to know more of my classmates and find a new friend, fortunately it wasn't hard to find one.
The more time I spent time with people whom i thought was just classmates of mine, the more i realized how good they are, how there are not just my classmates, but friends whose just waiting for me. And those times I'm with them, I also realized that I do have fun with them, there are the kind of friends i need, the kind of friends I've been looking for.
I'm not saying that my "unknown" friends are bad friends or anything, I looove them! I also got lots of fun with them, i learned a lot of things about real life. In that group i have this friend there, a very close one...I regret going away from her, I love her..she's the one whom i really want to share my secrets to, she always comforts me. I wanted so much to win her back, to again be with her, but i guess its too late, she's now angry with me. They are good friends, i think. I'm not angry with them or anything, I just want to thank them for everything they've done wether its good or bad. But i just don't understand that girl, the one who acts like i've done such a bad sin, she's the one who always shouts things in our class about me whenever I'm around! My new found friend asked me once, "What have you done to *******, why is she like that?" I have no idea what i have done to her, we weren't even that close, she just making it worse! She don't even have the right to judge me! Why? Why? Your so complicated, are you God to say things like that? Are you that perfect not to forgive others? Ha? Know what? The time will come when you make mistake and you will be hated as much as you hated me and you'll not be forgiven by others, you'll feel what me and Lizette felt.
*Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* Yeah! That feels good! *sigh* Now that its all out i really feel light now. Oh and for the readers, sorry if this bores you. But thanks for reading! See you soon oh and thanks blog!
2007-12-20 @ 04:46:04 pm
by lizette
..ahaha...talaga? wahaha... me too..! yikes!
2007-12-13 @ 03:39:47 pm
by _heaLey_
..nose blEeEeEeEeEed oh.. _-=LizeTte=-_ _-=27=-_ _-=18=-_
2007-12-13 @ 03:36:56 pm
by lizette
Hehe thanks! It feels so great to ...
2007-12-13 @ 03:35:51 pm
by _heaLey_
..that's true.. so sad, but there's a ...
2007-12-13 @ 03:34:24 pm
by lizette
Hi there! Please leave me a ...
2007-12-08 @ 08:12:53 pm
by _heaLey_